have to book in tml morning.. feel quite sian now.. thinking that the rest of my ns life is stay-in.. and tt i might not be able to play basketball or do the things that i wanna do.. i dunt knw why..but i feel depressed at the thought of being deprived to play basketball while serving army.. am i really suffering frm depression? .

i already play like fuck.. if this 2 years cannot play.. sure worse den fuck!. damn sians.. even when playing the under21 cup... oso cant get to play much... den nex day have to book in.. i really dun have the motivation to carry on.. esp when i cant b released to play ball... think this whole thing is jus so damn unfair..

why other ppl can get what they want.. and i have to struggle and think of ways to get myself out.. and still miss out on everything.

man, cant believe i have to live my life like this